Ministry to Single Adults: The Post I'm not writing

Numerous articles culled from the internet, a good long slog through the website of a local singles' ministry and 8 paragraphs into the blog post, I deleted it all.

Yep.  No lengthy article.  Just a few words of caution about ministry in general, but particularly ministry to single adults:

First, you can't assume that numerical growth is godly growth. Weekly "member alerts" and reminders to pay your own bill at the coffee shop after are your first clue.  People openly admitting they are barely out of disastrous marriage #2 and ready for spouse #3 is your second.

When you wink at or studiously ignore fornication, you've got a problem.  When your attitude toward it, when you are forced to acknowledge it, is "get 'em married, quick!", you've got a problem.

When you are afraid to name divorce for the evil it is and instead wrap sin in the cotton-fluff euphemism, "single-again", you are failing as a teacher and leader.

The two biggest problems with singles ministries are the same problems the rest of the Evangelical culture is afraid to approach.  We are afraid to name sin for what it is and then we approach it therapeutically, never really saying "no" except to the stuff we think is really, really, bad like when Bob's wife and Carol's husband show up to church together with her wearing a pajama top and him wearing the matching pajama bottoms.  In other words, sin has to be bigger than the 300-pound gorilla in the corner for us to do anything about it.

Sometimes being single is not sinful or unhealthy.  And many times getting remarried after a divorce is both sinful and unhealthy. Until our leaders stop treating the symptoms and get radical about sin and a theology of marriage and vocations to marriage or singleness, they are going to continue to miss the boat and singles are going to hop from church to ministry to social group and back around again, never being confronted in their sin and never being comforted in their repentance.

Belatedly added proverb of sorts: There is an old saying that if you meet a guy in a bar, you'll find yourself dating a guy who likes to hang out in bars.  If you meet a guy at a singles group, the only thing you can be pretty sure you have in common is your singleness.  Instead, give yourself to what you love and you will find love, whether it be in giving to others by doing that which you love or finding someone who shares your love.