Monday, August 2, 2010

Chivalry at work . . .

It's been rather nice to sit back and not feel I have to defend myself. On another blog, something I wrote has been indirectly questioned and denied. I was going to respond quickly and pointedly but decided to sit back in my chair and watch for a day or two.

It's nice to see gentlemen leaping into the breach and correcting the impression left by the questions this respondent had asked.

That's one of the nicest things about patriarchy. Even though I'm not married, it's nice to be able to sit back and watch men do the heavy rhetorical lifting. Rather nice not to feel as if I have to defend myself against every question, criticism or slight. I once knew a religious feminist who declared she would never, ever let anything like that go unanswered.

I used to think that as well. But now I don't have to.


Annette M. Heidmann said...

I agree - gentlemanly behavior is refreshing! I am curious though, about the correlation you seem to be making between patriarchy and chivalry toward women as a whole. Might you expound on that a little?

Kamilla said...

Hi Annette,

It's partly my assessment, based upon my knowledge of the gentlemen involved.

However, I do think there is a natural connection between the two that arises when women embrace patriarchy. Men, even if they don't acknowledge patriarchy as a good, are generally trained in all sorts of ways (subtle and obvious) not to fight women. So, when a feminist comes to the seminary and demands training, the seminary generally acquiesces and pushes the decision further down the road to the ordaining body. We can see this all over the place where women have demanded a seat at the table, a chance to compete. Men acquiesce much sooner than they would if they were battling a bunch of men.

However, when women embrace patriarchy and learn to sit back, demurr, not barge on ahead, chilvalry naturally shines forth from a man who has already embraced patriarchy. So I think that chivalry is the natural result of patriarchy when it is embraced by both men and women.


Annette M. Heidmann said...

Your allusion to the "Dance" is fitting ... all things flow so much more smoothly when both parties follow the steps.

Kamilla said...


And it is interesting, a friend once commented that, when a husband and wife are living near the center of their faith, it can be very difficult to tell that the husband is acutally leading. That applies to the dance as well.

It's something the enemies of patriarchy and chilvalry frequently mistake, claiming those are the times when patriarchal couples are breaking the "rules" and not being true to their beliefs.