There's nothing like God making your decision for you . . .

For some time now, I have known my days as an Anglican appear to be numbered. The funny thing is, when I first became involved in my AMiA parish, I would have been happy at the outcome that is now forcing me to leave. Back then I was still a religious feminist but was rapidly tiring of the battle maintaining that position (while otherwise holding to some semblance of Christian orthodoxy) proved to be. When I settled upon AMiA , I knew they were studying the issues surrounding women's ordination and would soon decide the matter. But I told God that I believed He had directed me to AMiA and that I would accept whatever decision the committee made.

Eventually, AMiA decided upon ordaining women to the diaconate but not the priesthood. The decision was not nearly as traumatic as I expected it to be. Over the course of the next few years, without my even realizing it at times, my views changed. I changed. Through God's gracious provision of the dearest friends I could imagine and don't deserve, I came to see my rebellion for what it was. And came, with much unexpected delight, to embrace a vision of who we are as men and women that is sometimes called "sexual orthodoxy", sometimes tradition, and which I like to, a bit evocatively, call The Dance. It is a Dance where man leads and woman, not simply subordinate, completes.

About four years ago (when I attended the AMiA Winter Conference in Birmingham, Alabama), I started to hear whispers and to see cracks in the facade of orthodoxy. I told friends at that time that AMiA would be ordaining women within 5 years. I am saddened to see I seem to have been right about that. This month, St. Barnabas Church in Ontario, Canada will celebrate the "ordination" of the Rev. Susan Zakamarko to the priesthood. (see second item on this page: http://www.stbarnabasacic.com/news.html ). While this ordination takes place within ACIC and not within AMiA itself, an AMiA official will be in attendance and to maintain AMiA itself does not "ordain" women to the priesthood is a distinction without merit.

Unfortunately, the only doctrinally orthodox Anglican parish within an hour's drive seems to be so busy with whatever is occupying their time (some say infighting, some say the parish is just plain dying), that I can't get the answers I'd like in order to be able to make a decision about joining the parish -- which is why I say my days as an Anglican appear to be numbered.

I am glad God orders our steps, because I certainly don't know where to go from here.